In Which I Outsmart Myself Yet Again

Hey, guess what? I can NOT earn my measly adjunct salary and still receive unemployment benefits because, even though this salary is not quite half of what I used to earn, it is still more than the unemployment would be. I'm allowed to earn as much as 25% of my benefit which is only $75/week based on the maximum benefit of $303/week. Thus, by adding those extra sections to my semester's schedule, I self-eliminated my chance to get paid for doing nothing. Damn! As sorry as I feel for myself with my horrendous drop in cash, I am alarmed also at the astoundingly low expectations for everyone else's salaries. I'm amazed that people can get by on so little and yet I struggle with so much. I need a budget. One that factors in my new $375/month COBRA payment. I have to stop paying rent and really move into my house. Jeez. I really could have used that extra $300/month. I really could.

I need to sell a book.
Or this condo.
Or my other car.
Or drugs.
Or all my furniture.

Dear god, what am I going to do?!