All Those Stupid Questionnaires in One Post

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
And various uniformed military. In several countries.

2. What color are your eyes?
Green.

3. When was the last time you went sledding?
A couple of years ago, with Suzanne and Bernadette, before lunch at The Cozy.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
With someone else, unless I'm sick or angry.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Sure.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I suppose.

7. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
All Angie, all the time.

8. Who was your first crush?
Tony. 4-year-old Kindegarten

9. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
More than one.

10. Have you ever been ice skating?
I was on my college team.

11. How often do you remember your dreams?
Sleeping ones? Often. Unfortunately, I'm a lucid dreamer so I often create them in addition to remembering them.

12. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
Thursday night before everybody left.

13. Can you name 4 songs by The Beatles?
Yes, and sing their harmonies.

14. What's the one thing always on your mind?
My unresolved romantic urges.

15. What talent do you wish you had?
Self-esteem.

16. Do you know anyone in jail?
Yes.

17. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Often enough to have a couple of scars.

18. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No, but I've been slapped and kicked in the face.

19. Do you own any stuffed animals?
Billy, my bullfrog.

20. Do you have a major crush on someone?
Of course. I've written about him below.

21. Do you miss someone right now?
I am terminally nostalgic and lonely.

22. What are you listening to right now?
The Kojo Nnambi show.

23. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
River Phoenix.

24. What color underwear/boxers are you wearing?
None.

25. Where do you work?
The library, the church, the Airport campus, and my home office

26. What ended your last relationship?
Debilitating mental illness.

27. What food do you crave right now?
Chevre on ginger nuts.

28. What was the last TV show you watched?
Daily Show.

29. What is the last thing you ate?
Raspberry NutriGrain Breakfast Bar.

30. Are you on any medication?
Lots.

31. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Whatever side is farthest from the door.

32. What color shirt are you wearing?
Tomato.

33. What is your favorite frozen treat?
Kroger brand holiday special Peppermint Ice Cream

34. How many tattoos/piercing do you have?
3.

35. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
I imagine myself STILL married.

36. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
Yes, and it's childish and I should stop.

37. Do you like your nose?
Yes, but is it possible that it is changing shape?!

38. What color is your bedroom?
Lilac and chocolate.

39. Where do you live?
Columbia, SC

40. Are you an aggressive driver?
Yes, but a very good one.

41. What color is your car?
One green, one blue.

42. What do you smell like right now?
Rosemary and sage.

43. What is your favorite color?
Purple.

44. What character from a movie/TV most reminds you of yourself?
Aspirationally? Anything Mary-Louise Parker plays. Realistically? They don't put people like me on TV.

45. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Not quite as much as I like getting them.

46. Do you own a digital camera?
A few and they're all either misplaced or missing parts.

47. What books, if any, have made you cry?
I'm a recovering English major. My answer to this is far too long to interest anyone.

48. Are you a jealous person?
Very.

49. 69?
Yes, but I have major reservations about its efficacy.

50. What shoes are you wearing right now?
Black leather strappy sandals.

51. What is your major weakness?
Charismatic men who call me "Sugar."

52. Do you suffer motion sickness?
Often, even while sitting in a club chair on the ground floor of a building on a permanent foundation.

53. What's the best pizza?
Goat cheese, pancetta, basil, cantaloupe, and black pepper.

54. Longest relationship?
4.2 years.

55. Are you afraid of thunderstorms?
Take me to the beach during a thunderstorm on a full moon and I will do absolutely anything you want or can dream of. And I howl.

56. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Happy.

Or dead.

57. Have you ever given or been given an engagement ring?
Twice.

58. What was the last gift someone gave you?
A manila envelope stuffed with original refrigerator art by my nephew.

59. Who would you call first if you won the lottery?
My attorney, of course.

60. Can you cook?
Better than everyone I know except Drew.

61. What is your favorite jelly/jam?
Black currant.

62. Can you swim?
1990 European Youth Champion in 100m backstroke.

63. What is your first memory?
Trying to convince Tony P. that I was strong enough and smart enough to lift up my parents' (brick) house with one finger.

No, I think that it is sitting on my hospital bed with one of the nurses and turning Tootsie Pops into little ghosts with tissues, a black marker, and a roll of suturing thread so that I would have something to distribute when the other kids on the ward came by to Trick or Treat.

64. What item would you like to have buried with you?
I don't want to be buried (I'd really prefer to evaporate or desiccate very very quickly), but I'd like to be surrounded by my years of correspondence with Elizabeth. Unfortunately, she's named as my literary executor in my will, so her job will be more difficult than she may have anticipated.

65. What are three things you're dying to have right now that would make everything just about perfect?
The ever elusive book contract, a size 8 figure, and the right man.