Happy Crappy Birthday

I'm 31.

Yesterday, I signed a contract on my pretty-close-to-dream house. 1905, Arts and Crafts, 7 fireplaces, wide plank oak floors, wrapped front porch, 14 and 12 foot ceilings, huge front and back gardens. Roof and both HVAC units are all less than 5 years old. Needs an entirely new kitchen and bath, no structural work.

My parents hate the address. Mom loved the house, Dad didn't see it, not that that stopped him from ringing me up (for the first time in months) and railing at my for 45 minutes. I haven't told them I signed the contract.

Pinched a nerve in my back yesterday which has me in tears from the pain and unable to walk upright. It would have caused me to cancel last night's plans if I'd had any. It's worse today. Not that I have any plans today either. It's not like it's a special day or anything. Oh, wait.

Just got an e-card from my best friend, who stopped speaking to me about six months ago. I don't believe I'll open it quite yet. I don't think I can take any more disappointment.

When I woke up this morning and hobbled into the kitchen to scavenge for food I didn't have to cook, I hobbled into a big puddle on the floor, warped laminate flooring, a flood stain on the wall, and a big nightmare. I thought it was the dishwasher I recently "fixed" so cleaned up the water, grabbed a jar of peanut butter and a spoon, and went back to bed. A couple of hours later, there was a new puddle and I tracked the source to the hot water heater, though I couldn't find a leak.

So now, I'm spending my sick day dressed and sitting upright in a chair and my birthday babysitting a plumber who is going to install a brand new water heater for the bargain price of $1400. Aren't water heaters more like $500? Geez. I'm definitely installing a tankless water heater in my new house. The whole idea of these giant tanks of water sitting around insults my ecological, my germ-o-phobe, and my rare book sensibilities. Constantly reheating water is stupid and is asking for bacterial and fungal growth. Giant vats of water sitting around is just asking for a flood too. To make things even worse, my mother is coming over to sit and watch the plumber with me and she's just about the last person I'd like to spend my birthday with. I'd actually prefer the plumber, who, by the way, is mildly retarded. Not that I'm qualified to diagnose that. I can definitely assess, however, that he is at least "a little slow."

And, to really polish off the day, BB has not yet made good on an agreement we have and there is $200 and my hopes for a decent birthday riding on it. He's flaked on this before. If he does it again today I don't know what I'll do. It's not going to be good.

To think that I put off a couple of friends who offered to celebrate in favor of a retarded plumber, my mother, a pinched back, a huge puddle, and a big check. Way to go, me. This bodes so well for the year to come.